Last night was the first night that my pregnancy actually began to feel real.

I remember my doctor’s first words to me when he came to see me in the exam room:

“So what are we here for today?”

I don’t know why, but that threw me for a loop! Don’t they write down the reason for the visit on your chart? Ridiculous.  Anyway, after telling the nurse I started my shpiel for the second time about how I took no less than 6 pregnancy tests (yes, I said 6) and that I had some heavy bleeding…blah blah blah, I won’t share too much because it’s really TMI, getting to the point, Doc then tells me,

“So, you’re still not convinced huh? haha.”

“Haha, yea,” I replied with this weird look on my face.

He continued to ask me that question at every visit, including my last one this past week.  And every time, I replied the same thing.

I really don’t know why I felt this way, maybe because I didn’t know what to expect.  Or maybe I didn’t want to get myself too psyched about it incase I miscarried (thanks to google, the ease of internet access to the masses, and the books that scared the effing crap out of me with it’s ginormous list of DO NOT’s).  Either way I wasn’t convinced there was a being growing in my tummy. YES, despite the 3, nearly 4 months, of being sick to my toes, the constipation, the vomiting, random cravings, my growing belly, and pregnancy side effects that Beansprout has been sending me to let me know it’s still there, It still didn’t feel real, until….

We felt Beansprout’s first kicks from outside my tummy!

17 weeks 1 day