There’s No Place Like HOME!

Hawaii, as hot, muggy, and sticky as you are, I love you, really I do.  I must say though, San Jose gives you tough rubs as far as weather goes, but you Hawaii, you win, just because you have the beach.

Preggers Goes Traveling

Traveling while pregnant is not as bad as I had thought, although, I’m sure I had it easy since I sat first class, yes working for an airline does have it’s perks.  I’m pretty sure I would have been RIDICULOUSLY cranky if I had to sit in the main cabin.  I’m talking Madea from the hood cranky crazy.

I was hesitant about traveling when people started asking me about the body scanner machines.  Did you know that those things emit small amounts of radiation???? I didn’t and I used to visit the airport on the daily! Ok, you got me, it’s not grow a third boob and 4 arms amount of radiation, it’s pretty harmless actually, but being pregnant you don’t want to take chances.  Upside for Hawaii? None of those crazy machines in the interisland terminal.  Bad news: San Jose has a backscatter machine.  Good News: They also have a regular old metal detector that isn’t harmful at all.  Bad news: Crazy power hungry TSA Agent blocked the metal detector.  Good News: Helpful and friendly FEMALE TSA Agent tells him to let me through the metal detector.  In yo face white boyyyyy! Boom Kanani!  I’d like to take a moment to thank that TSA agent who made my life a lot easier, and not making me request for a manual pat down (YIKERS!).  MAHALO NUI BOOM KANANI!

So here’s what I learned from my trip about traveling on a plane while pregnant.

If you are traveling alone, the quickest way to get help is to constantly look like you’re exhausted, easy right? Considering you’re always exhausted! Check!

If you are traveling alone, be as pleasant as possible, NO MATTER HOW IRKED YOU ARE, people are willing to help the pregnant lady, ALWAYS! And if they’re not, it’s because they have no heart and are a douche mcgouche (yes I just came up with that on the fly).

If you are traveling with husband/boyfriend, make him work! He doesn’t have to carry around a fetus in his uterus!

Drink LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of water!  If at all possible, bring your own water bottle, most times Flight Attendant’s will fill it up for you, ESPECIALLY if you’re pleasant and look pitiful.

DO NOT EAT AIRPLANE FOOD!  It is uber salty and uber bad for you.  You WILL get swollen toes, feet, ankles, and calves.  Proceed at your own risk!  If at all possible, bring your own stuff.  However if you are LEAVING HAWAII, you can’t take fruits and veggies.  Why? Because it’s the law.  Oh, and if you’re COMING TO HAWAII, you can’t take fruits and veggies OFF the plane.  Why? Because I SAID IT’S THE LAW!

Walk around every hour or so.  Yea, get your booty up and do some laps.  When the seat belt sign is OFF, Flight Attendants will understand, and if they don’t then, like I said, they have no heart and are a douche mcgouche.

Bring your own pillow if possible.  I’m not talking a hugeoriffic body pillow, just big enough for you to sort of cuddle with.  It’s are to get comfy womfy in those chairs.  It’s easier in a first class cabin, however, still uncomfortable for the most part.

If you are traveling alone, check in as many bags as possible.  It get’s heavy when you’re lugging it around the airport, lifting it to get scanned, putting it in an overhead.  Like I said, most people are kind enough to offer help, especially in Hawaii, however, it’s just easier for everyone if you check in your bags.

Things I keep in my carry on purse/bag (even when I’m not pregnant):

• 2 plastic bags: in case you wanna barf or just throw stuff away
• Gum AND Breath mints
• Evian Mineral Water Spray : It’s for your face, not to drink, and it’s sold in a travel size at CVS, Walgreens, Walmart, Target
• Antibacterial Sanitizer : Bath and Body Works has travel size ones that smell good not like rubbing alcohol BLEH! and you can get like 5 for $5.00!
• Small Brush (or gigantic brush if you want)
• Chapstick
• 5 packets of Emergen-C: Pack more if you want, it’s generally good to have.  Mix with water, vitamin c and other crap that’s good for you)
• Blotting papers (for your FACE PEOPLE!)
• Eye Mask: to block out light
• Ear plugs: to block out the screaming kid in the back of the plane
• 2-3 Face Masks: Yes the ones that loop over your ears that the chinese people walk around with. Why?  Beacause the air in the plane is dry and cold, when you wear the mask and fall asleep with your mouth open (OMG, Tres embarassing) it keeps the air warmer and keeps out the crap that’s floating in the recycled air.
• Toilet Seat Covers
• 2 Kelenx Packs (better than napkins, easier on the nose, don’t want you looking like rudolph!)
• Dental Floss
• Lotion (steal, I mean ta-, I mean borrow(?) some from the hotel, you’ll thank me later when you’re hands look like a crocodiles’)
• A ziploc of goldfish
• A ziploc of Cheerios
• Soda Crackers

I throw all of this into a small cosmetic bag, I found one in Japan that has handles and pockets for everything, I know you all can’t go to japan but a cosmetic bag will do.

I think that about covers it?  I’ll be sure to update this if I think of anything else. Man it’s good to be home.  I’m pooped. (literally, just kidding…maybe)

21 weeks 5 days