As I reached the end of my pregnancy, I started to get frustrated with my body and started to have serious doubts that I would be able to handle or deal with child birth this time around. When you get pregnant the first time, you really have no idea what giving birth will be like. You have no idea or even an inkling of what to expect. When the second time rolls around you have a general idea of what happens. And when you have a traumatic experience the first time, you have fears and doubts about the second time. I had to keep telling myself to trust my body, and trust in God’s plan.
After reaching and then surpassing my due date, I was discouraged and uncomfortable, I thought she would never come out. I reached 41 weeks on Monday, August 1st, which coincidentally happened to be my son’s first day of full time pre-school. My husband and I woke up early, got him dressed and took him to school, where I was pretty much abandoned by my son as he walked (more like ran) away from me to play and yelled bye to me from afar. My husband and I went home to enjoy our FIRST and what would be our ONLY full day alone, to do WHATEVER we wanted.
2 o’clock rolled around and it was time to pick up my son from school and we also had a doctors appointment. My husband half jokingly told my father-in-law we would let him know if he had to pick up our son from the doctors office, and I added “…don’t worry she’s staying in, you won’t have to do that.” I was slightly nervous because of two reasons: 1) I had to see a different doctor because my doctor was out of the office, and 2) I KNEW they would be checking my cervix…WHICH (for lack of a better word) SUUUUCCCKKKKSSSS!!!
While in the exam room, I was talking to the doctor and telling her that nothing had changed and I was getting really discouraged because I was hoping to have that “natural birth” experience that I didn’t get with my son. Up until this point I had also denied a membrane sweep, 3 times, because I knew it would hurt, and because there’s no guarantee that it would work. There are stories of women who have to do it 2, 3, or 4 times before it works and really at that point you don’t even know if it worked because of the sweep or your body was just ready. If there is one thing I will always remember my Grandma telling me, it’s “follow your gut, you know what’s best for you, it’s your body.” During the exam, I felt a small gush and basically the doctor said that she thought my water broke so I should just go downstairs to labor and delivery. All I kept thinking was “Holy crap, she’s coming, I don’t know if I can do this again!”
I walked out of the exam room and told my husband what happened. So we went to L&D and anxiously awaited the arrival of our little one. The doctors and nurses were wonderful and I was able to labor on my own for about 4 hours. My contractions weren’t painful but they were really close together. Unfortunately they weren’t doing anything because I had only progressed about from 3cm to 4cm after 4 hours. I was induced the rest of the way and also had an epidural. I was able to SLEEP through my WHOLE labor which was AMAZING! When I gave birth to my son, I had the shakes the whole time so I was so tired when it came time to push. This time I was rested and ready to push!
About 11 hours in, I started to feel something coming after each contraction but I wasn’t really sure what I was feeling. So I just slept it off and went back to sleep. After about 12 hours in labor, the doctor came in to check on my progress and can you guess what I had been feeling? the rest of my water bag and my daughters head pressing down. “Huh, so that’s what that was,” is what I thought. The truth is I felt NOTHING with my son, so this was a completely new experience for me. Then the doctor looked up and said “Okay, let’s try pushing!” All I kept thinking was “Holy crap she’s coming! Holy crap 2 kids! Please don’t tear, please don’t tear, PLEASE DON’T TEAR!!!!”
After only 15 minutes of pushing, (and only second degree tears!) our little princess arrived on August 2 at 5:15am.
So to all you mothers and mothers to be: “Trust your gut, trust your body, only you know what’s best for you.” After all was said and done, his plan was perfect and my body didn’t fail me. We are happy to announce the (better late than never) arrival of our beautiful daughter Tori. Here are a few moments from my delivery.